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 If you have
never heard of Carl Rogers well let me tell
you that it was he, along with Abraham
Maslow, who are considered the pioneers of
the humanistic movement in psychotherapy.
This movement gave rise to the concept
of putting the person, the learner, the
client, the customer at the centre of things.
Anyone trained in psychotherapy or
counselling today will doubtless be familiar
with the 'Rogerian' or
'person centred' approach to
helping others.
Rogers (who died in 1987) was a man who
wrote a great deal on the art of relating and
effective communications. He was
philosophical about it too. His
standpoint stems from a belief in the innate
goodness of life, the positive uniqueness and
creative power of each person. Each
person is at the centre of their own world
and for him, 'no one, no matter how hard he
or she tries can ever completely assume
another person's internal frame of
reference'. That said, he also held that all
living things naturally strive towards
self-fulfilment. He calls this the
'actualising tendency'.
Spud Story
Rogers sees this actualising tendency
operating at all levels of life and gives a
simple account of it in one of his books,
On Personal Power*, where,
drawing on memories of his childhood home, he
writes about what happened to a bin of
potatoes left over winter in the basement -
several feet from a small window: 'The
conditions were unfavourable but the potatoes
would begin to sprout - pale white sprouts,
so unlike the healthy green shoots they sent
up when planted in the soil in spring - but
these spindly sprouts would grow two or three
feet in length as they reached for the
distant light of the window'. The point
being that clearly these potatoes were not
going to fulfil their full potential in these
conditions, but yet by the act of being alive
they were taking a good shot at it.
Naturally, he argues, this actualising
tendency is precious to ourselves. In
this example too it is easy to see the
potatoes story as a metaphor for the
constraints we may, more than we realise,
place upon ourselves and others. From
Rogers' viewpoint, if we can begin to accept
the magic and potential in this concept then
we are moving towards his 'person centred'
vision.
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Three Conditions for good Human Relationships
As an integral part of this vision,
Rogers sets out three conditions or
'arts' that he sees as
essential to productive relationships.
Admittedly these are aimed at the
therapy environment but I think you will find
they no less apply as good practice in any type of
relationship we have with each other. These are
Genuineness,
Acceptance and
Empathy.
Genuineness is the art of
being honest with ourselves and others.
It means that in our interactions with
others we endeavour to be 'straight' without
props, facades or games. Let's face it,
this can be challenging enough to get to
grips with in what we take to be 'close'
relationships let alone in say customer
transactions, where a professional 'can do'
response is the expectation, and may in some
circumstances be less than genuine, accurate
or even helpful. But the rule here is
if we are offering a service or making
promises, we genuinely take them on as
commitments, stick by them and follow through
until done.
Acceptance is the art of
accepting others for themselves - avoiding
preconceived judgements. Rogers also
calls this 'unconditional positive regard'
for the other person. In our
interactions with people it requires an
attitude of prizing the other person to the
best of our ability regardless of the
concern, requirement or viewpoint he or she
might bring to the table.
Empathy is the art of
nurturing understanding and empathy towards
the other person. This boils down to putting
ourself in the other person's shoes, plus a
dollop of actually caring about them - we
treat others as we would wish others to treat
us - nothing new in that but...
Rogers calls these necessary conditions, 'arts',
because they require skill and work to get
right - not something one can just switch on.
Even so he believes that if one can get
these conditions into balance, relationships
can only improve.
No one is suggesting these conditions
exhaust all ideas for improving
relations here but I hope you will agree that
they touch upon the heart of the matter.
One can overlay relationships, customer
or otherwise, with a raft of sophisticated
professional devices to supposedly improve
and or measure performance but overlook core
conditions such as these and one can be a
million miles from getting it right for the
person, client or customer, you are interacting
with.
Francis O'Neill
*On Personal Power (Carl
Rogers, Redwood Burn Ltd 1979)
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